Love map explains why we love the person we love
Ever wonder why you love the person you love despite your difference? This aspect of the relationship is explained by the love map.
It is a thing to wonder about for some people to see a couple who seemed to be unfit for each other. A guy could be athletic, outgoing, and loves adventure while the woman could be a home buddy and quiet. Seeing this kind of couple may make other wonders what force drove them to love each other.
Based on the article from Reader’s Digest, the love map is responsible for this aspect of the relationship. John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University said that love map is “a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether it’s the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.”
In other words, we love the person who is fit to this map which is already highly determined since childhood. According to the article, the pattern for our ideal mate has already started to form in our brains.
In addition, it is said that mothers have a great influence on why we love who we love. A woman or a man may say or enumerate why she or he loves his or her partner. Little did they know, the traits they say has a great resemblance to their mothers. “Yes, our mothers — the first real love of our lives — write a significant portion of our love map,” the article stated.
During our younger days, our attention is centered on our mother and we are the center of attention of our mothers. With this, their characteristics are instilled in us. The impact of a mother is bigger to a son. Aside from the clues that mothers give to their sons about their potential mates in the future, they also influence how their sons perceive women in general.
Meanwhile, fathers have a different role in our lives. They are responsible for how we look at the opposite gender. Fathers mainly affect their daughters’ perception of men.
Since most of us grow up with people of similar social circumstances, same town, same educational background, and so on, we tend to be attracted to the person whose family tends to be the same as our own, according to the article.