President Duterte has his own Christmas gift list for his friends and foes alike and CIA came to reveal it
Just like anybody in the world, Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte also has his swag bag for his friends and foes, when that time of the year comes, according to the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).
CIA, the main intelligence sponge of the United States of America, has commissioned a special team from its dirty-tricks department to uncover the Christmas gift list of the controversial leader of the Philippines, President Duterte.
According to a report in interaksyon.com, the special team had reportedly gone over the presidential garbage bin, where they fished out shredded papers of what appeared be “Pangulong Digong’s” Christmas gift list.
The CIA finally pieced together a secret presidential Christmas gift list and stated some may laugh but there might be some who would get offended.
Duterte has “The Three Monkeys” for outgoing American President Barack Obama while he has “mirrors” for President-elect Donald Trump.
Duterte’s idol, Russian President Vladimir Putin, is likely to receive brass knuckles.
Meanwhile, President Duterte has also something for his critics and political enemies: he would give a bus ticket to Bicol to Vice President Leni Robredo, special Pangalatoc edition of Kama Sutra for Senator Leila de Lima, while a doormat for the whole Liberal Party.
Businessman Roberto Ongpin is likely to receive a lightning arrester, Chinese online gambling operator Jack Lam would have to spend a weekend stay at Albuera Hilton.
Jokingly, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) will receive a shipment of books, Farewell Young Man of Light, from the Netherlands and a Pajero sports utility vehicle (SUV).
The Makati Business Club is also in the list with free tickets to Mocha Uson concert on the line. Former President Fidel V. Ramos will receive a jet ski from China while United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon and the UN rapporteurs will receive the first edition copied of The Mammoth Book of Insults.
Loida Nicolas-Lewis and Rodel Rodis would receive a one-way ticket to Tibet, China while Commission on Higher Education (CHED) chairperson Patricia Licuanan could expect for a “waling tingting” (bamboo broom).
Duterte is likely to give a rubber band to Jose David Lapuz, a bundy clock to Prospero de Vera, a masking tape to Commission on Human Rights (CHR) chairperson Chito Gaston, a waste basket for the Anti-Money Laundering Council (AMLC) and hearing aids and magnifying gl(–foul word(s) removed–) for the National Democratic Front (NDF).
The CIA also revealed that President Duterte is likely to give his aids some Christmas gifts and to wit: PNP Chief Director General Ronald dela Rosa (silencer), Justice Sec. Vitaliano Aguirre (gift check from Svenson), and Foreign Affairs Secretary Perfecto Yasay and Presidential Spokesman Salvador Panelo (dog leash).
Moreover, Senate President Koko Pimentel and House Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez (whips), and Communications Secretary Martin Andanar (whistle), the Malacañang Press (balls).
After all, Christmas is for children and so they are included in Duterte’s Christmas gift list and they are likely to receive ear plugs, to whatever purpose it may serve them.