Gigi de Lana Confesses to Feeling Responsible for Mother’s Cancer & Eventual Death
GIGI DE LANA – Singer-actress Gigi De Lana said she still blames herself for her mother’s death from breast cancer.
In an emotional interview, Gigi de Lana revealed that she still holds herself responsible for not being able to care for her mother, who passed away from breast cancer last May. During a conversation with Toni Gonzaga, which aired on Gonzaga’s YouTube channel on Sunday, Sept. 10, De Lana reflected on her mom’s battle with cancer and her eventual passing, admitting that she is still coping with the loss.
“Sa ngayon, Ate [Toni] hindi ko alam. Para akong naliligaw pa rin until now, lalo na noong nawala ang mom ko,” she shared, adding that she continues to struggle with her daily life.
“At tsaka noong nawala si Mama, ‘yung mundo ko, sobrang bigat. Para akong inalisan ng kaluluwa sa katawan ko, kasi siya lahat everytime na kumakanta ako. Siya ‘yung motivation ko para sa kanya lagi, until now,” she continued.
De Lana recounted her final conversation with her mother, which took place via video call while she was in Canada for a concert.
“Nasa hotel ako t’as naka-tube [na si Mama], groggy pa siya and ‘di na nagrereact ang face nila. And [habang] nagkekwento ako, ang reaction lang niya is kumunot ang noo niya,” she said. “Pagka-off ko and habang nasa shower ako, kinausap ko na si Lord. Sabi ko, ‘Lord, okay na po. Kunin mo na siya.’”
When asked why she made that prayer, De Lana explained that seeing her mother in pain was unbearable. Shortly after her prayer, she received the devastating news from her family that her mother had passed away.
“Hirap na hirap na siya, Ate Toni. ‘Yung face niya, namamaga na, in pain. After ko maligo may tumatawag na pagkasagot ko lahat sila, nag-iiyakan. And then shocked ako and then ‘yung Mama ko nawala na,” she said.
“[Akala ko okay na ako] pero noong nawala, hindi pala. Hindi ako okay… hindi ako okay until now. Sinisisi ko kasi ang sarili ko kung bakit siya lumala nang ganyan. Kasi wala akong pera una, hindi ko siya mapagamot. Mag-isa lang ako, at siya lang din ‘yung lakas ko, siya lang,” De Lana tearfully admitted.
READ ALSO: Gigi de Lana Posts Touching Message for Late Mom: “Ang hirap ma. Ang sakit sakit”
Despite being in shock after her mother’s death, Gigi De Lana insisted on going ahead with her concert as a tribute to her. “My mom wanted me na ituloy ‘yun, in spirit mapapanood niya ako,” she said.
She also requested that her mother’s remains be preserved until she returned to the Philippines, so she could see her one last time. While moving forward with her life, De Lana expressed a sense of relief that her mother was no longer in pain.
“Sobrang lungkot pero a part of me ay masaya kasi tapos na ‘yung paghihirap niya. She has been battling cancer for six years, ang tagal kaya it’s time na rin to rest,” she said.
Watch the video below: